Cele|bitchy

Sienna Miller is a desperate, immature, high-maintenance girlfriend
Jessica Biel’s stalking paid off, Gerard Butler finally gave her a ride
Chelsea Handler and Reese Witherspoon’s drunken speeches: funny or lame?
Brooklyn Decker vs. Jessica Szohr: who looks more matronly?
Bryce Dallas Howard in J. Crew Pepto-Bismol vomit: worst dressed?
Emma Stone In Bottega Veneta: lovely, perfect and/or adorable?
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in tiger print Dolce & Gabbana: sexy or cookie cutter?
Cameron Diaz in a Phillip Lim jumpsuit: biscuit-grazing catastrophe?
Kristen Stewart in the safety pin Balmain dress: cute or rage-inducing?
Emma Watson in white clingy Marchesa: pretty or forgettable?

Sienna Miller is a desperate, immature, high-maintenance girlfriend

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 08:45 AM PDT

Sienna Miller has always given me the impression that she's a very high-maintenance drama queen. Various stories about her and interviews with her seem to reinforce that idea I have of her. It's like… sometimes I'll notice a celebrity girl, and I'll think, "Yeah, if I was a guy, I would be all over that." While I don't think much of Blake Lively woman-to-woman, I "get" why men like her. But if I was a dude, I would be all over Emma Stone right now. Just sayin'. Anyway, that digression leads me to my point: I don't get why men would go for Sienna Miller. She seems like she's so ridiculously high-maintenance. These are photos of Sienna and her new young boyfriend Tom Sturridge at the French Open yesterday. There are lots of photos of the two of them in the stands, and almost all of them are of Sienna trying to get Tom's attention, trying to draw his attention away from the tennis match (Rafa versus Federer), trying to ensure that she's not forgotten even for one little second. Here's The Mail's summary of Sienna's stupidity:

They only went public with their relationship just last month but by the looks of things Sienna Miller already knows just how to handle new beau Tom Sturridge.

The couple, who went public with their relationship in Vienna last month, were visiting Paris watching the French Open yesterday.

But as Tom,25, sat captivated by the game Sienna,29, appeared to want his interest and was seen staring into his eyes trying to catch his attention.

When she did finally get his gaze she stuck her bottom lip out, pretending to be upset.
But the frown didn't last long and she burst into giggles as the actor kissed her.

The couple were first linked together in April following Sienna's split from Jude Law in February.

[From The Mail]

She's like a 15 year old girl. I bet she even "runs away" from him so that he'll "chase" her. Everything about Sienna in these photos says "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!! WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING AT ME?!? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME EVERY SINGLE SECOND?!?!?!?!?!?" I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Tom Sturridge. Poor kid. He doesn't know what hit him (hint: he was hit by Sienna's vadge of doom).

Photos courtesy of Pacific Coast News.

Jessica Biel’s stalking paid off, Gerard Butler finally gave her a ride

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 08:15 AM PDT

I'm having a really hard time with all of my Forever Dongs lately. Michael Fassbender is off boning a 22-year-old chick who thinks she's a fashion icon and an actress (and she's neither). David Gandy is off boning some girl-bander who looks and acts like a trashier Sienna Miller. And now my constant bachelor, my beloved dirty Scotsman Gerard Butler, has succumbed to Jessica Biel's charms. Biel was trying to make this junk happen just as soon as Justin Timberlake dumped her. She went to work in Louisiana on Playing the Field, a rom-com with Butler. She pushed stories in the tabloids about how Gerard was so into her and how he was just all over her. And now this. Photos - which you can see here - of Butler taking Biel for a ride on his motorcycle.

They said earlier this year that they were just friends. But it seems Jessica Biel and Gerard Butler’s friendship may have blossomed into something of a romance, judging by photographs of the pair out together last week.

Biel and Butler, who can soon be seen starring in romantic comedy Playing The Field, cuddled up on the back of a Harley Davidson motorbike as they sped down the Pacific Coast Highway.

Biel, who embraced her inner biker chick in a black leather jacket, dark jeans and brown boots, seemed to have no qualms holding tight to Butler as they enjoyed the hair-raising ride. And Butler also didn’t appear to mind the fact he had a beautiful Hollywood actress clinging to his back, smiling as he put his foot down as sped off.

Biel and Butler were first romantically linked back in March when they filmed scenes for their new movie in Louisiana.

However, an insider on the set was quick to deny the reports, insisting: ‘They have never had dinner alone. They are always in a crew of people on the film. There is no romance or relationship.’

But, judging by the photographs of the pair last week, their relationship has moved on from just friends to more than that.

[From The Mail]

By the way, I want to point something out: bitches, I was right. When I began pointing out Biel's machinations - all of it the groundwork for this particular endgame - many of you yelled at me and said I was being unfair to Biel. Bullsh-t. She's been trying to get in Gerard's pants this whole time, and from the looks of it, he's into it for now, however begrudgingly. I'm getting a feeling from this that this is another PR fauxmance designed to promote the film, much like whatever Butler and Jennifer Aniston had for The Bounty Hunter. Do I think Butler can keep it in his pants and be a one-woman man? Er… for Biel? Not so much. But she's got him for now. And that's so depressing.

UPDATE: People Magazine has a half-hearted confirmation of the relationship, and they got quotes from a true-blue Southerner for their story. A source down in Shreveport says: “He knows he looks good,. If I were her, I’d hook up with him. She looks good, too, and she knew she looked good, swinging her hips around. They looked like a couple. They were having a good time.” Only a Southerner would note “swinging her hips around” - I swear to God. We say stuff like that, only I would have said “swishing her hips around.” In any case, it sounds like Biel was advertising, and Gerry was buying.

Photos courtesy of Fame & Pacific Coast News.

Chelsea Handler and Reese Witherspoon’s drunken speeches: funny or lame?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 07:41 AM PDT

Chelsea Handler was at the MTV Movie Awards last night, where she presented the Generation Award to Reese Witherspoon along with Patrick Dempsey and Robert Pattinson. Chelsea giggled uncontrollably as everyone else spoke, and she seemed somewhat blitzed as usual. She looked great, for her, in that she had that awful pee-yellow blonde hair fixed (leaving dark roots like Madonna, to add depth or something and not wash her out). Her makeup was pretty and flattering, and apart from the bulging Botox vein in her forehead she looked good - again with the qualifier for her. Her bunchy Lavin dress was underwhelming and not that flattering on her figure, but it wasn’t terrible. Her shoes are just ok with that outfit.

At the MTV Movie Awards, Chelsea delivered her lines in that kind of lame monotone she uses for everything. She joked that Reese had an ass smaller than Justin Bieber even though she has two kids. Then she said that “So far, the only flaw I found is your decision to do Legally Blonde 2, but I forgive you.” Then she added “It’s ok, we’re friends.” Of course they are and of course Chelsea wants us to know it. They share the same rep, Stephen Huvane, were seen out to dinner together last month, and are co-starring in the upcoming comedy This Means War. Kaiser reminds me that this is Chelsea’s big debut, so she really needs to sell it. What better way than by hitching her star on Reese?

As for Reese, she wore a cute form fitting leopard print dress with nude heels. (Her ankle must have healed already.) Her hair was loose and pretty and I like her look and find it kind of effortless. I was going to say that she’s not pregnant, but I swear from the side she could have been. I just think she’s a healthy weight now and not stick thin.

Tags:
Movie News

I just watched Reese’s acceptance speech and she did seem a little drunk, so maybe the pregnancy angle is out. She cracked “I got really nervous when they told me I was gonna get this award, because Sandra Bullock got it last year and she made out with Scarlett Johansson. And then they told me Chelsea was giving me the award and I was like ‘Who knows where her mouth has been?’” She also dropped the F bomb when she was talking to Robert Pattinson, saying “By the way, Rob, the punchline to your joke was ‘I played your mother then we have a sex scene, so really you’re the best motherf’er in Hollywood‘.” I guess Pattinson also dropped an F bomb during his speech, and that neither Reese nor Rob’s F words were censored by MTV at first, which may cost them with the FCC. Reese was referring to the two movies she’s done with Pattinson, Vanity Fair in 2004 (his part as her son was cut) and Water for Elephants this year.

She also said that “I just want to say to all the girls out there… it’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show. When I came up in this business you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And, like if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone you hide your face. [laughs]. It’s totally possible to be a good girl.” Chelsea made a (sort-of faux) sex tape years ago and sent it all around hoping to drum up some interest in her mediocre comedy act, so Reese may as well have been addressing her instead of the audience and (presumably) Blake Lively.

photo credit: WENN and Fame

Brooklyn Decker vs. Jessica Szohr: who looks more matronly?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 07:24 AM PDT

I just got through yelling at Bryce Dallas Howard and declaring her the worst-dressed at the MTV Movie Awards, and then I chanced upon these two ladies, Jessica Szohr and Brooklyn Decker. I'm still holding that Bryce was definitely the worst dressed, but Jessica especially really wants attention for all of the wrong reasons. Jessica's senior-citizen jumpsuit is alice + olivia by Stacey Bendet. I mean… seriously? She's a really pretty girl, she has a great figure, she's in her 20s, and she's going to show up to this event LIKE THIS? This looks like a painter's coveralls, via a Miami retirement community. It also looks like paisley vomit.

Speaking of matronly fugness, what's up with Brooklyn Decker? She used to look like every dude's fantasy of a bikini model - long blonde hair, big boobs, dressed like a teenager. But ever since she appeared in Just Go With It, it's like Brooklyn is aiming to appeal to middle-aged women by styling herself just like them. She's got a mom haircut and this No. 21 dress looks like the top off of a cheesy ensemble for a 1970s housewife going to her first key party. Brooklyn has a great figure, and she has those enormous boobs, but I'm getting the feeling that she has no idea how to cover those puppies up while still looking under 40.

Photos courtesy of Fame.

Bryce Dallas Howard in J. Crew Pepto-Bismol vomit: worst dressed?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:57 AM PDT

Bryce Dallas Howard was my worst-dressed pick for the MTV Movie Awards. Yeah, I know she's pregnant and that should ensure that she gets a pass. But Bryce simply has terrible style, all the time. Remember when she wore this to Cannes just a few weeks ago? It was an oversized smock made out of stiff-looking tapestry material. And as for this J. Crew dress…I'm sorry, there are lots and lots of cute maternity clothes that don't look like Pepto-Bismol vomit. I just don't get why anyone would want to look like this, why anyone would say "Hey, that fug pink thing with the little rope belt! I WANT THAT."

That being said, I don't really get Bryce Dallas Howard in general. I get that she's Ron Howard's daughter and that she's trying to make a name for herself on her own, and hey, she actually won last night (Best Fight) and she got a shout-out from Sparkles (“It’s ok, I ripped your head off and now you’re pregnant!"). But it feels like… eh. She doesn't need to exist in Hollywood. She brings nothing to the table. She can't even dress in a cute outfit for a red carpet.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Emma Stone In Bottega Veneta: lovely, perfect and/or adorable?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:35 AM PDT

God, how much do we love Emma Stone? She was at the MTV Movie Awards as well, nominated for best comedic performance (for Easy A), up against four dudes - and she won! Well deserved, although Emma was one of the rare non-Twihard wins, so it probably doesn't mean much. Sidenote: I would love to see Emma do a movie with Robert Pattinson! I think they would look cute together. Where Kristen Stewart tries to be badass and just looks like a slumpy, lip-biting, eye-rolling troll, Emma Stone actually achieves badass-ification. And I think Sparkles should be exposed to that.

Anyway, Emma is one of my "best dressed" of the awards show. This cute dress is Bottega Veneta. While I do think the dress is cute in and of itself, Emma is what makes the dress special - how she wears it, how she's back to the ginger, how cute and classy and funny she is. I love her, and I think the girl has style and she knows HOW to wear good clothes. If only other young women could take notes from Emma.

Photos courtesy of Fame & WENN.

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in tiger print Dolce & Gabbana: sexy or cookie cutter?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:14 AM PDT

Rosie Huntington-Whiteley worked a tiger print Dolce & Gabanna dress that hugged her tiny curves at last night’s MTV Movie Awards. I was ready to trash this dress as I have a real knee jerk response to animal prints, but then I took a second look and have to give her some points for not showing too much skin. She wore a white extremely low cut, high-slit dress to the Guy’s Choice Awards the previous night, so I like that she’s mixing it up.

She has one setting though, vamp, and she’s playing it up the only way she may know how. I like her hair this color, and the dress compliments it well.

Plus her shoes are so gorgeous! They’re a little matchy-matchy with the dress, but I just love them and it’s not like they’re the same print. Just Jared lists them as Sergio Rossi. I’m a bit of a shoe fiend so I did a little “research” to try and see if I could find these online, but I couldn’t. I did find a somewhat similar pair at Zappos Couture for $760. These shoes are probably new, and the Sergio Rossi people probably sent them to Rosie to wear so we would all lust after them and dream of shoes that cost double an average car payment. Damn these designer goods manufacturers and their insidious marketing techniques.

When this girl smiles, she looks incredibly young, doesn’t she? I understand why she does it so rarely, although if I were boning Jason Statham, I like to think I’d have a dreamy smile on my face most of the day. The dream is always better than the reality, though. Like maybe those super expensive shoes really hurt her feet.

Photo credit: Fame and WENN.com

Cameron Diaz in a Phillip Lim jumpsuit: biscuit-grazing catastrophe?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:10 AM PDT

Here are some photos of Cameron Diaz and Jason Segal at last night's MTV Movie Awards. Cameron wore what I'm guessing is the new summer trend - very short shorts in some kind of jumpsuit ensemble. I swear, I've seen several women in similar outfits all over the place lately. Camy's jumpsuit is Phillip Lim, and her shoes are Lanvin. I don't really care for the outfit, but meh. It's appropriate for the venue, and if I say something about wanting Camy to cover up, everybody will jump up my ass. I just think… eh, we've seen it before. Camy always wears shorts and miniskirts that I think are too short. The bitch has great legs, and you can tell how athletic and toned she is, and that's great. But I would love to see her "look" mature a bit. Also: the cut of this jumpsuit doesn’t really do much for her figure beyond her legs. It makes her look boxy and boyish.

But Camy and Jason are in "selling" mode, and I guess people are worried that dudes won't go to see Bad Teacher. I think the movie looks good, and I wouldn't mind seeing it, which I haven't said about Cameron Diaz movie in a while. Camy needs a hit - and she needs to get back on the sisterhood's side, which is perhaps why she and Alex Rodriguez are over? Who knows.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Kristen Stewart in the safety pin Balmain dress: cute or rage-inducing?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 05:45 AM PDT

Kristen Stewart's face is going to drive me to drink. Within the first hour, I saw too, too much of her little troll-face, rolling her eyes, slumped over in her chair, forcing the awkwardness. But I'll give her some credit - while she's not good at sitting through an awards show without rolling her eyes and acting like an immature 11-year-old, she's getting much better at the red carpet stuff. In photos from the red carpet, Kristen actually smiles in some frames, she stands up straight (sort of), and she puts in a little effort at acting like she's happy to be there. As for the fashion - this dress is "the safety pin Balmain dress". Very short! K-Stew loves her mini-skirts, and she loves her metallics and metal embellishments, and it's nice to her in red. It's a cute dress, totally appropriate for the occasion, but skirts this short always give me anxiety. I worry about these young starlets and whether their biscuits will get cold.

Since I don't want to devote another post to it, let's just power through all of the Twihard stuff now, okay? As I put up last night, there's a new trailer for Breaking Dawn, and it involves thrusting and wood splinters (and bad acting). In addition to introducing the new clip, the Twilight people took home five awards: Best Kiss, Best Fight, Best Movie, and Best Male and Female Performances for K-Stew and Sparkles. I saw Sparkles accept three awards - best performance, where he got up there solo, seemed rather charming and low-key, and then Best Fight, where he was up there with Bryce Dallas Howard and he made a crack about her being pregnant now. Cutaway to K-Stew who gasped, hunched over and rolled her eyes. Hand to God.

But my favorite moment was when K-Stew and Sparkles won Best Kiss and instead of doing their patented BS "we won't kiss on demand" stuff that they've done for the past two years, Sparkles ran out into the audience to make out with Taylor Lautner. Now… I think Lainey has it right about Lautner. He's a mini-Tom Cruise, in every way. Lautner's forced wholesomeness is its own kind of kinky, and one of the funniest stories Sparkles ever told was about having to grab a shirtless Lautner in a scene, and Lautner's nipples getting hard. So, was Sparkles just having a bit of fun with Lautner's homoerotic crush? Is it cruel? Or is it just kind of sweet and funny? Sparkles won me over when he kissed Taylor's forehead and his hand. Sweet boys.

Tags:
Movie News

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Emma Watson in white clingy Marchesa: pretty or forgettable?

Posted: 06 Jun 2011 05:29 AM PDT

Emma Watson walked the red carpet at the MTV movie awards in a white mid-thigh length Marchesa with silver beading along the neckline and beaded fringe cap sleeves. She paired it with silver Brian Atwood heels, simple drop earrings and a silver cluster ring that she showed off while blowing kisses and bending over. I’m not a fan of Marchesa and felt that their Cannes fashion was pretty much a big miss, and this dress isn’t an exception.

The look isn’t particularly stunning but it isn’t an eyesore either. Watson’s hair and makeup are so pretty and the dress highlights how slim she is. Not many people can carry off tight white dresses. It’s just underwhelming in general and I’m not a fan of the gladiator-like sleeves or her silver platform heels, which look cheap.

I was thinking that this dress reminded me of something Anna Paquin wore to an awards ceremony last year, but I looked and Paquin was in a really fug McQueen dress at the 2010 Emmys. The only similarities were the gladiator metallic cap sleeves. Watson’s dress is so much prettier in comparison, but truly that’s not saying much.