- Sienna Miller is a desperate, immature, high-maintenance girlfriend
- Jessica Biel’s stalking paid off, Gerard Butler finally gave her a ride
- Chelsea Handler and Reese Witherspoon’s drunken speeches: funny or lame?
- Brooklyn Decker vs. Jessica Szohr: who looks more matronly?
- Bryce Dallas Howard in J. Crew Pepto-Bismol vomit: worst dressed?
- Emma Stone In Bottega Veneta: lovely, perfect and/or adorable?
- Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in tiger print Dolce & Gabbana: sexy or cookie cutter?
- Cameron Diaz in a Phillip Lim jumpsuit: biscuit-grazing catastrophe?
- Kristen Stewart in the safety pin Balmain dress: cute or rage-inducing?
- Emma Watson in white clingy Marchesa: pretty or forgettable?
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 08:45 AM PDT
Sienna Miller has always given me the impression that she's a very high-maintenance drama queen. Various stories about her and interviews with her seem to reinforce that idea I have of her. It's like… sometimes I'll notice a celebrity girl, and I'll think, "Yeah, if I was a guy, I would be all over that." While I don't think much of Blake Lively woman-to-woman, I "get" why men like her. But if I was a dude, I would be all over Emma Stone right now. Just sayin'. Anyway, that digression leads me to my point: I don't get why men would go for Sienna Miller. She seems like she's so ridiculously high-maintenance. These are photos of Sienna and her new young boyfriend Tom Sturridge at the French Open yesterday. There are lots of photos of the two of them in the stands, and almost all of them are of Sienna trying to get Tom's attention, trying to draw his attention away from the tennis match (Rafa versus Federer), trying to ensure that she's not forgotten even for one little second. Here's The Mail's summary of Sienna's stupidity:
[From The Mail]
She's like a 15 year old girl. I bet she even "runs away" from him so that he'll "chase" her. Everything about Sienna in these photos says "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!! WHY AREN'T YOU LOOKING AT ME?!? WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME EVERY SINGLE SECOND?!?!?!?!?!?" I'm starting to feel sorry for poor Tom Sturridge. Poor kid. He doesn't know what hit him (hint: he was hit by Sienna's vadge of doom).
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 08:15 AM PDT
I'm having a really hard time with all of my Forever Dongs lately. Michael Fassbender is off boning a 22-year-old chick who thinks she's a fashion icon and an actress (and she's neither). David Gandy is off boning some girl-bander who looks and acts like a trashier Sienna Miller. And now my constant bachelor, my beloved dirty Scotsman Gerard Butler, has succumbed to Jessica Biel's charms. Biel was trying to make this junk happen just as soon as Justin Timberlake dumped her. She went to work in Louisiana on Playing the Field, a rom-com with Butler. She pushed stories in the tabloids about how Gerard was so into her and how he was just all over her. And now this. Photos - which you can see here - of Butler taking Biel for a ride on his motorcycle.
[From The Mail]
By the way, I want to point something out: bitches, I was right. When I began pointing out Biel's machinations - all of it the groundwork for this particular endgame - many of you yelled at me and said I was being unfair to Biel. Bullsh-t. She's been trying to get in Gerard's pants this whole time, and from the looks of it, he's into it for now, however begrudgingly. I'm getting a feeling from this that this is another PR fauxmance designed to promote the film, much like whatever Butler and Jennifer Aniston had for The Bounty Hunter. Do I think Butler can keep it in his pants and be a one-woman man? Er… for Biel? Not so much. But she's got him for now. And that's so depressing.
UPDATE: People Magazine has a half-hearted confirmation of the relationship, and they got quotes from a true-blue Southerner for their story. A source down in Shreveport says: “He knows he looks good,. If I were her, I’d hook up with him. She looks good, too, and she knew she looked good, swinging her hips around. They looked like a couple. They were having a good time.” Only a Southerner would note “swinging her hips around” - I swear to God. We say stuff like that, only I would have said “swishing her hips around.” In any case, it sounds like Biel was advertising, and Gerry was buying.
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 07:41 AM PDT
At the MTV Movie Awards, Chelsea delivered her lines in that kind of lame monotone she uses for everything. She joked that Reese had an ass smaller than Justin Bieber even though she has two kids. Then she said that “So far, the only flaw I found is your decision to do Legally Blonde 2, but I forgive you.” Then she added “It’s ok, we’re friends.” Of course they are and of course Chelsea wants us to know it. They share the same rep, Stephen Huvane, were seen out to dinner together last month, and are co-starring in the upcoming comedy This Means War. Kaiser reminds me that this is Chelsea’s big debut, so she really needs to sell it. What better way than by hitching her star on Reese?
As for Reese, she wore a cute form fitting leopard print dress with nude heels. (Her ankle must have healed already.) Her hair was loose and pretty and I like her look and find it kind of effortless. I was going to say that she’s not pregnant, but I swear from the side she could have been. I just think she’s a healthy weight now and not stick thin.
I just watched Reese’s acceptance speech and she did seem a little drunk, so maybe the pregnancy angle is out. She cracked “I got really nervous when they told me I was gonna get this award, because Sandra Bullock got it last year and she made out with Scarlett Johansson. And then they told me Chelsea was giving me the award and I was like ‘Who knows where her mouth has been?’” She also dropped the F bomb when she was talking to Robert Pattinson, saying “By the way, Rob, the punchline to your joke was ‘I played your mother then we have a sex scene, so really you’re the best motherf’er in Hollywood‘.” I guess Pattinson also dropped an F bomb during his speech, and that neither Reese nor Rob’s F words were censored by MTV at first, which may cost them with the FCC. Reese was referring to the two movies she’s done with Pattinson, Vanity Fair in 2004 (his part as her son was cut) and Water for Elephants this year.
She also said that “I just want to say to all the girls out there… it’s also possible to make it in Hollywood without a reality show. When I came up in this business you made a sex tape, you were embarrassed and you hid it under your bed. And, like if you took naked pictures of yourself on your cell phone you hide your face. [laughs]. It’s totally possible to be a good girl.” Chelsea made a (sort-of faux) sex tape years ago and sent it all around hoping to drum up some interest in her mediocre comedy act, so Reese may as well have been addressing her instead of the audience and (presumably) Blake Lively.
photo credit: WENN and Fame
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 07:24 AM PDT
I just got through yelling at Bryce Dallas Howard and declaring her the worst-dressed at the MTV Movie Awards, and then I chanced upon these two ladies, Jessica Szohr and Brooklyn Decker. I'm still holding that Bryce was definitely the worst dressed, but Jessica especially really wants attention for all of the wrong reasons. Jessica's senior-citizen jumpsuit is alice + olivia by Stacey Bendet. I mean… seriously? She's a really pretty girl, she has a great figure, she's in her 20s, and she's going to show up to this event LIKE THIS? This looks like a painter's coveralls, via a Miami retirement community. It also looks like paisley vomit.
Speaking of matronly fugness, what's up with Brooklyn Decker? She used to look like every dude's fantasy of a bikini model - long blonde hair, big boobs, dressed like a teenager. But ever since she appeared in Just Go With It, it's like Brooklyn is aiming to appeal to middle-aged women by styling herself just like them. She's got a mom haircut and this No. 21 dress looks like the top off of a cheesy ensemble for a 1970s housewife going to her first key party. Brooklyn has a great figure, and she has those enormous boobs, but I'm getting the feeling that she has no idea how to cover those puppies up while still looking under 40.
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:57 AM PDT
Bryce Dallas Howard was my worst-dressed pick for the MTV Movie Awards. Yeah, I know she's pregnant and that should ensure that she gets a pass. But Bryce simply has terrible style, all the time. Remember when she wore this to Cannes just a few weeks ago? It was an oversized smock made out of stiff-looking tapestry material. And as for this J. Crew dress…I'm sorry, there are lots and lots of cute maternity clothes that don't look like Pepto-Bismol vomit. I just don't get why anyone would want to look like this, why anyone would say "Hey, that fug pink thing with the little rope belt! I WANT THAT."
That being said, I don't really get Bryce Dallas Howard in general. I get that she's Ron Howard's daughter and that she's trying to make a name for herself on her own, and hey, she actually won last night (Best Fight) and she got a shout-out from Sparkles (“It’s ok, I ripped your head off and now you’re pregnant!"). But it feels like… eh. She doesn't need to exist in Hollywood. She brings nothing to the table. She can't even dress in a cute outfit for a red carpet.
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:35 AM PDT
God, how much do we love Emma Stone? She was at the MTV Movie Awards as well, nominated for best comedic performance (for Easy A), up against four dudes - and she won! Well deserved, although Emma was one of the rare non-Twihard wins, so it probably doesn't mean much. Sidenote: I would love to see Emma do a movie with Robert Pattinson! I think they would look cute together. Where Kristen Stewart tries to be badass and just looks like a slumpy, lip-biting, eye-rolling troll, Emma Stone actually achieves badass-ification. And I think Sparkles should be exposed to that.
Anyway, Emma is one of my "best dressed" of the awards show. This cute dress is Bottega Veneta. While I do think the dress is cute in and of itself, Emma is what makes the dress special - how she wears it, how she's back to the ginger, how cute and classy and funny she is. I love her, and I think the girl has style and she knows HOW to wear good clothes. If only other young women could take notes from Emma.
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:14 AM PDT
Plus her shoes are so gorgeous! They’re a little matchy-matchy with the dress, but I just love them and it’s not like they’re the same print. Just Jared lists them as Sergio Rossi. I’m a bit of a shoe fiend so I did a little “research” to try and see if I could find these online, but I couldn’t. I did find a somewhat similar pair at Zappos Couture for $760. These shoes are probably new, and the Sergio Rossi people probably sent them to Rosie to wear so we would all lust after them and dream of shoes that cost double an average car payment. Damn these designer goods manufacturers and their insidious marketing techniques.
When this girl smiles, she looks incredibly young, doesn’t she? I understand why she does it so rarely, although if I were boning Jason Statham, I like to think I’d have a dreamy smile on my face most of the day. The dream is always better than the reality, though. Like maybe those super expensive shoes really hurt her feet.
Photo credit: Fame and WENN.com
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 06:10 AM PDT
Here are some photos of Cameron Diaz and Jason Segal at last night's MTV Movie Awards. Cameron wore what I'm guessing is the new summer trend - very short shorts in some kind of jumpsuit ensemble. I swear, I've seen several women in similar outfits all over the place lately. Camy's jumpsuit is Phillip Lim, and her shoes are Lanvin. I don't really care for the outfit, but meh. It's appropriate for the venue, and if I say something about wanting Camy to cover up, everybody will jump up my ass. I just think… eh, we've seen it before. Camy always wears shorts and miniskirts that I think are too short. The bitch has great legs, and you can tell how athletic and toned she is, and that's great. But I would love to see her "look" mature a bit. Also: the cut of this jumpsuit doesn’t really do much for her figure beyond her legs. It makes her look boxy and boyish.
But Camy and Jason are in "selling" mode, and I guess people are worried that dudes won't go to see Bad Teacher. I think the movie looks good, and I wouldn't mind seeing it, which I haven't said about Cameron Diaz movie in a while. Camy needs a hit - and she needs to get back on the sisterhood's side, which is perhaps why she and Alex Rodriguez are over? Who knows.
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 05:45 AM PDT
Kristen Stewart's face is going to drive me to drink. Within the first hour, I saw too, too much of her little troll-face, rolling her eyes, slumped over in her chair, forcing the awkwardness. But I'll give her some credit - while she's not good at sitting through an awards show without rolling her eyes and acting like an immature 11-year-old, she's getting much better at the red carpet stuff. In photos from the red carpet, Kristen actually smiles in some frames, she stands up straight (sort of), and she puts in a little effort at acting like she's happy to be there. As for the fashion - this dress is "the safety pin Balmain dress". Very short! K-Stew loves her mini-skirts, and she loves her metallics and metal embellishments, and it's nice to her in red. It's a cute dress, totally appropriate for the occasion, but skirts this short always give me anxiety. I worry about these young starlets and whether their biscuits will get cold.
Since I don't want to devote another post to it, let's just power through all of the Twihard stuff now, okay? As I put up last night, there's a new trailer for Breaking Dawn, and it involves thrusting and wood splinters (and bad acting). In addition to introducing the new clip, the Twilight people took home five awards: Best Kiss, Best Fight, Best Movie, and Best Male and Female Performances for K-Stew and Sparkles. I saw Sparkles accept three awards - best performance, where he got up there solo, seemed rather charming and low-key, and then Best Fight, where he was up there with Bryce Dallas Howard and he made a crack about her being pregnant now. Cutaway to K-Stew who gasped, hunched over and rolled her eyes. Hand to God.
But my favorite moment was when K-Stew and Sparkles won Best Kiss and instead of doing their patented BS "we won't kiss on demand" stuff that they've done for the past two years, Sparkles ran out into the audience to make out with Taylor Lautner. Now… I think Lainey has it right about Lautner. He's a mini-Tom Cruise, in every way. Lautner's forced wholesomeness is its own kind of kinky, and one of the funniest stories Sparkles ever told was about having to grab a shirtless Lautner in a scene, and Lautner's nipples getting hard. So, was Sparkles just having a bit of fun with Lautner's homoerotic crush? Is it cruel? Or is it just kind of sweet and funny? Sparkles won me over when he kissed Taylor's forehead and his hand. Sweet boys.
Posted: 06 Jun 2011 05:29 AM PDT
I was thinking that this dress reminded me of something Anna Paquin wore to an awards ceremony last year, but I looked and Paquin was in a really fug McQueen dress at the 2010 Emmys. The only similarities were the gladiator metallic cap sleeves. Watson’s dress is so much prettier in comparison, but truly that’s not saying much.
Also, doesn’t it look like someone just pinned up her hem and didn’t sew it properly?
*Designer details thanks to Just Jared. Photo credit: Juan Rico/Fame Pictures, and WENN.com
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